Sweetness

The summer of 2010 was a big one for me. It was filled with travel, friends, crushes, laughter and a few tears. There was so much growth. Every day it seemed like I was writing loads of notes about the things God was teaching me. When those days came to an end, I swore not to forget. I promised myself I would be the woman God was calling me to be.

Years past, after climbing a few mountains and trekking through a few valleys, I decided to flip through the pages of that ragged journal to rekindle what I learned.

Looking over a few pages, tears welled up in my eyes.Instead of finding a journal filled with deep meditations  I found pages that contained only a paragraph of sloppy handwriting.

    How will I remember what I was taught?

Then it all came back. Not ever word of the messages I heard, or necessarily the scripture I read but the emotion behind that sloppy handwriting.

The excitement of learning, the frustrations of figuring out the people I was spending all the summer with, irritation with aspects of myself, and hope for the future.

During that time, I had a nickname. "Sweetness", because I had a sweet personality. Funny thing, at the time having the character  trait of "sweetness" wasn't something I always cared for. The rest of the girls in our group were sassy as sassafras.  Sweetness sounded like another word for weak, or timid. Who would want to be those things? After that, I let life events change me. A little rougher around the edges, a little less caring,  more quick witted and quick tempered. After reflecting on what I read in my journal I realized.

Being sweet is not a bad thing. Caring deeply doesn't make you weak. Being quiet doesn't always mean fear. Thoughtfulness with words and actions can save you from a lot of hurt. 

Authentic, natural sweetness is something to be treasured.
Once it's gone, it's extremely challenging to regain.

The question is, is it gone?